A Cop When You Need One

So we were coming from Sunday School, for pity’s sake!  The kids were telling me how to drive, as usual.  I was trying not to hear them, as usual.  Also trying to make a left-hand turn across a four-lane road with a turning lane in the middle.  Get the picture?  Yes, you see. 

 So sit, sit, sit, wait, wait, wait — hey, there’s only one car in the far lane far away.   Now — GO! 

HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!!!!! A car came right up behind me (that car, I assume) and got very close to my bumper.  The kids later told me it was a woman driver, a blonde, whose hair looked as though she’d “just gotten out of bed.” 

Still violently honking, she swerved around my car,  got right in front of me, then slowed down to almost stopping.  I slowed down even more and tried to move to to the other lane.  She moved to the other lane again right in front of me.  I moved back, she moved back, slowed down again.  It was actually very scary because there was nowhere for me to pull over or turn off the road, plus she appeared to be clinically insane.  

My 12-year-old was yelling from the backseat:  Mom, call the cops!   My 15-year-old sitting next to me shouted, “Shoot her, Mom!”  I raise my boys right, y’all. 

JUST THEN SUDDENLY WITHOUT WARNING we heard a siren, saw a blue light, and an unmarked police car — a policeman I know, never you mind how — appeared alongside of the driver.   He yelled:  “What the f*** do you think you’re doing???”  at her!   He did!   It was the coolest road moment EVER!    She actually seemed to be arguing with him a little, but he scooted her on her way and she disappeared.

Where’s a cop when you need one?   He was right there.  

So thank you, Officer!  Oh, and I forgive you for giving me that speeding ticket a few weeks ago.   Okay.   Actually, I forgave you when you told me I don’t look old enough to drive — or something like that, I forget now.    The Land of Cotton salutes you!